I’m fat.

I don’t just mean I have a large, blubbery belly, I mean my whole lifestyle is fat.

I sit in my loungeroom on my new/ second-hand laptop and look around. 4000 DVDs and blurays, 200 books, 800 records, 200 toys, giant TV and I think to myself: am I happy?

Do these things MAKE me happy?

No. They don’t, and the continual purchase of more of this stuff is actually detrimental to my mental wellbeing!

SO here I am, sitting in my loungerrom, watching Netflix, fat as a cow.

I’ve been collecting… let’s call it ‘crap’… for about 44 years but a few years ago I watched a TV show that started me doubting whether or not the collecting/ hoarding lifestyle was for me.

It was a TV series called The Long Way Round starring Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman.

long-way-round-long-term-travel

Why did a nerd watch a show about two guys travelling on motorbikes around the world? Well, being a Star Wars and Trainspotting fan I was interested to watch more of McGregor as he seems friendly and affable, but what I found was something else.

I found dissatisfaction.

Not in the show, but instead in myself. In 2004 when it came out I was 34 and had done nothing with my life. Yes, happily married and with a wonderful daughter, but unhappy to the point of suicide. Honestly, if my wife hadn’t been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I possibly would have. It is amazing to think that the only thing that stopped my depression was my wife’s.

So, for 13 years I have attempted to free myself from that collector’s reflex and this year, 2017, I think I finally have.

I’m going to share how I came to this conclusion with various posts over the next however long, which is basically an online diary for me to reflect upon, and initially I was just going to write a journal, but I figure if it helps someone else, or if someone else has an idea to assist in my journey, I’m willing to accept it. Maybe there is others like me who are looking for something and not quite knowing how to find it.

Wish me luck.

 

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